Thursday, October 11, 2007

Week 7 1/2

Austin the big helper w/Alex
My three Angels

Max..being too cute
Alex & Emerson
"Brotherly Love"

Our 4 Sons...The loves of our lives

Week 7 1/2

I had 5 min in between Feeding, Diapering, Bathing, Playing and loving up my children so I thought I would right a love letter to and about my children.

This is this Mothers Perspective:
When Austin came into my life I was a little wet behind the ears...OK really inexperienced. I had babysat, but rearing your own child is different. I was absolutely obsessive when it came to my home...everything had to be perfect. His toys where lined up just so, his DVDs all in their cases, his blocks stacked just so high and even. As for his hygiene...well, I would bathe him 3 times a day and change his clothes so he would look impeccable. I would correct his grammar and get out the flash cards just so he would be the smartest kid in his class and everyone would say..."what a smart boy you have". I watched everything he put in his mouth to make sure his nutrition was top notch. What I didn't do was take the time to truly love the time with him. I loved him but I didn't take the time to study his face and kiss his baby toes and to enjoy all the baby time. THIS I REGRET. I now look at my beautiful 4 year old....he is so hard on himself sometimes and I know it's because I am hard on him and i realize...I missed so much. I was here but in body alone. I now vow to be the mom I never thought I could be....letting go of the little things. I will allow messy faces, toys in the living room, Nickelodeon on the living room TV and cookies before bed. I will not let one more minute pass without enjoying my children. I now look at my three new sleeping angels and I thank God that he gave me a second chance to change my views on motherhood and life. I am taking the time to kiss those baby toes and study those faces and to enjoy this time because it passes so quickly. To my amazing 4 year old I say I'm sorry for my lack of experience. I love you more than words can say. I will try to not miss one more moment. And to my three angels sleeping so calmly...for the moment, thank your big brother because he made me the Mom I always hoped to be. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all my friends and family, forgive me for not calling, stopping by or updating this blog. I will do what I can when I can . Please understand that my life has changed and I now am busy loving, living and enjoying the beauty that is my children and being the best mom I can possibly be.