Monday, June 7, 2010

My children have taught me...

Since starting this blog 3 years ago I have learned a lot about being a mother. My children have taught me the ins and outs of parenting and the do’s and don’ts. They have taught me about food, clothing, speaking, sneezing, helping, hurting, all the above and many more. Here are some of the things my amazing children have taught me.

-Bananas are the worlds most perfect food. However, if they are not at the exact ripeness for a toddlers liking, they become a sufficient wall paper paste.

-Dirt IS a food. It doesn’t matter where it came from or how they found it, it is edible.

-Light colored clothing IS NOT AN OPTION.

-Shoes are optional, even in a Buffalo winter.

-Teeth are a weapon, no explanation needed.

-Hugs and kisses make every boo boo better.

-Toddlers drink anything that looks like juice.

-Ants are not a deterrence from eating candy off the ground.

-Chairs WILL be used to reach permanent markers hidden on a high shelf.

-Cars are just large mobile trash receptacles

-A queen size bed is not appropriate for 2 adults, 4 toddlers a growing 7 year old, a cat and a blanket stealing 55lb dog.

-When your 2 year old insists on calling his brother “ASS” it’s because M’s are difficult for him to pronounce. However, “Mom, Ma, Mommy & MOOOOOOOOOOOOM!” come out just fine!

-Favorite toys and blankets MUST be brought with us NO matter what. Nothing like a melt down in the middle of a super market to draw even more attention to us!

-Sippy cups ferment in the heat!

-Wearing mommies shoes make them feel “creative”.

-If drawing on themselves with marker is any indication of how many tattoos they would like when they are older, we are going to have some crazy tatted up boys!

-Yes the dog has teeth and no you can’t pull them out.

-Eating cookies out of the bag or box is fun but eating them off the freshly washed floor makes them taste awesome!

-If an item says “Keep out of reach of children” they seem to want it more.

-Diapers are completely optional when mommy is out of the room.

- (in keeping with the above theme)They can write their names in the snow or on the carpet.

-Peanut butter is a cure all! It also makes lovely wall designs.

-If an adult comes in this house dressed up they will inevitably leave with some sort of goop on them.

-Anything and everything can and will be used as a sword or gun.

-Even if their favorite food is on the table, they want what I am eating.

MOST OF ALL........

My children have taught me to have a sense of humor about most things. If not I would go insane…and take ALL OF YOU WITH ME!