Friday, April 16, 2010

Dear Stinner Children

Dear Stinner Children

Every now and then there are a few things I would like to remember to tell my kids about when they where young. Usually it ends up with me being all mushy and telling them how important they are to me and how much I love them. Well, this isn't one of those postings. This is just a short reminder to my kids about what they where doing at this age.

Dear Children,

Thank you so much for all that you do for me. However, I don't feel the furniture, walls, carpet and steps need moisturising. Please leave the baby cream where it belongs so I may apply it to human beings!

Thank you for feeding Sidney(the dog) your dinner. She is very full now and will show me by puking up green beans all over the living room.

Thank you for using my brand new end table as a drum. The dents, dings and scratches give it character.

Thank you for standing in the window, naked. Now all the neighbors know you are potty training!

Thank you so much for borrowing Austins hand soap and pouring it ALL over the attic, on every surface. The whole attic now has a lovely scent of watermelon.

Thank you for cleaning up the dog poop in the yard. Next time I feel it would be better if we use some sort of shovel or perhaps a bag. Picking it up with your hands is unnecessary.

Thank you for telling me it was your baby brothers who opened up the cookies/candy/crackers that I found the wrappers hidden all over the playroom. I'm not sure how they climbed that high but I'm glad it was the non-verbal kids and not you telling a little white lie.

Thank you for attempting to shave your own head with Daddy's beard trimmer. All though it is time consuming I would prefer to do it myself. It just gives me more time to look at all the lovely bruises on your head.

Thank you for putting your dishes in the sink. However, until you get a little taller and can actually reach the sink it should be left up to someone taller. Milk is very hard to get out of the cupboard.

Thank you for wiping your buggers on the walls up and down the stairs. It shows me they are perfectly normal and no sickness lives here.

Thank you for being so jealous that I am holding another brother that you scratch my arm up like a cat leaving people to believe i am abused!

Thank you for licking the juice from the floor in the front foyer. A paper towel would have been better suited for the job but this was just as affective.

Thank you for the lovely hug in which you wiped your snot/dirt filled face all over my white T-shirt. Again, no infections here!

Thank you for getting my coffee cup off the counter and putting it on the floor where I accidentally kicked it all over the floor. I think it got in EVERY crevice.

Thank you for unraveling every toilet paper role in ALL 4 bathrooms. I don't know why they come like that. I too prefer to have bunched/tore up little pieces of toilet paper.

Thank you for getting into the upstairs cupboard and squirting out a whole BRAND NEW bottle of country apple scented hand moisturizer all over the brown carpet. I too think it was high time I spend 2 hours scrubbing the 3'x4' space up there. Not to mention every floor now smells like fruit!

Thank you for taking your juice cups, bottles and anything else filled with liquid and dripping it ALL over every piece of furniture in this house. At least you are consistent!

But seriously, thank you for trying hard to get into everything and anything you can. You keep my life interesting and I wouldn't have it any other way!

I love you ALL, MOM

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